Shopping Lists

Man, with a walking, curious Beeb, we are back to full-on crazy (as opposed to normal day-to-day crazy). It has gotten to the point where my most lurid fantasy involve things like sleeping with nobody touching me for even a short while or making a shopping list without "help." The latter fantasy goes something like this: I sit down at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, my magnetic dry erase board and marker where I list dinners we have all the parts for, my trusty notebook and folder where I keep my old reliable recipes and meal ideas (n.b.: I also have a nice fantasy about getting those all organized, but please, let's be realistic here, okay?), a piece of paper to write the list on, a pen to write the list with, and the other cookbooks on the shelf nearby if I need something new. I flip though my recipes, find an idea for a dinner, write it on the dry erase board, look through the ingredients and write down anything I need to get at the store on the list, jump up and check the cabinets or fridge if I need to check on whether we have something, have a sip of coffee now and then, and so forth.

Well, that's the fantasy. The reality goes a little more like this. Sit down at the table with materials. Watch toddler climb up on table. Scramble to move things out of his reach on the cabinet behind me. Take one thing at a time off the shelf and try to be inspired to cook ANYTHING for dinner EVER. Find a recipe. Pull recipe out of toddler's hands without ripping it. Note an ingredient that we don't have. Start to write it on list. Wrestle pen out of toddler's hands. Fail dismally. Try to write with toddler hanging on to end of pen. Give up and grab another pen while toddler scribbles on list. Get sidetracked by bigger kids with life or death situation (e.g., Mama must see this picture RIGHT NOW or the video finished and the world will end if it isn't shut off or replace by a new dvd RIGHT NOW). Come back into kitchen and discover that toddler has managed to fish dry erase marker off of shelf and is happily scribbling all over the table. Wrestle away marker from said toddler. Go into living room to comfort tragical toddler because Mommy takes away ALL the good toys. Get toddler settled down. Go back in kitchen and try to recapture train of thought. Realize that toddler has made it back up onto the table before my behind even hits the chair. Continue in this vein until my head is ready to explode, throw up and hands and give up.

Next morning, regroup, spread things out on kitchen counter so toddler can't reach anything and try again. Discover that four-year-old has commandeered dry erase board and wiped out all of previous day's effort there. Decide to reconstruct that list from shopping list. Look for shopping list. Rifle through infinite number of piles of drawings and "important papers" that kids have left lying around. Finally discover list in recycle bin. Try to work on list and convince toddler that it's really okay if he leaves one or two things in the cupboards while swooping in and grabbing away breakables or other no-nos. Spend time going back and forth between working on list and trying to shove things back into the cabinets. Have a lie down and cry a little. Throw up hands and go blog about it. Imagine that someday will look back on this and laugh. Remind toddler how lucky it is that he is so stinkin' cute that I'll put up with this.

Wonder what I can create for dinner out of some stale saltines and a limp carrot. Actually, things aren't nearly that dire yet, but at the rate I'm going with this list, we may get there!